When Crazy Eyes Are Smiling

When Matty D & I ventured out to the Bulls game on a frigid Friday night a couple weeks ago, I had no idea it would be the last time I saw Bobby Portis in red.  Actually, to be accurate, the Bulls were wearing those sweet city edition black uniforms.  Matt got fucked by a faulty furnace and couldn’t get downtown until late.  I live less than 3 miles from United Center, so I cracked a Coors Light and watched the 1st half.  We arrived at the gate in the 4th(!) quarter.  Informed regular concession sales were done, we popped into the Crown Royal Whisky Bar for a couple Bud Lights.  Matt ordered 2 Crown Apples to prime us up.  Then we caught the remainder of a close loss to the Clippers.  Bobby should’ve pulled the trigger from the top of the key here:

Pretty good seats!  They were an Xmas present from my sister a bro-in-law.  Thanks Bridget & Stephen!

After the final buzzer, we returned to the Crown club.  Better option than fighting for Ubers with 18,000 people.  We polished off a couple additional beers before security announced closing time.  Matt ordered 2 more Crown Apples for the road.  The lady behind the bar winked at him and said “Nice call.”


A cabbie beckoned us to the curb when we stepped outside, so I cancelled my $7 Lyft.  I try to support the cabs, if only to keep the competition alive so rideshares don’t monopolize the market.  Our driver turned out to be rotten.  He took a terrible route, heading south then swinging around to Old Town.  Plus, he wouldn’t shut up about Kobe being better than Michael.  Utter ridiculousness.  Even Kobe wouldn’t argue that, and Kobe is ultra cocky.  We arrived at Joe’s on Weed and the guy says, “$40.” Matt and I laughed in his face.  Are you serious, dude?  He claimed it was a flat rate from UC.  That’s when we noticed he wasn’t running the meter.  I was in high spirits and just decided to pay the con man with 2 twenties.  Dirtbag moves like that aren’t helping your industry, Carriage Cab #5931.  Do better.

Undeterred, we rolled inside ready to rock out to some country music.  Unfortunately, my cousin Conor & his fiance Annie told us we just missed the Dalton & the Sheriffs show.  Still, there was partying to do.  We ended up wandering over to Weeds Tavern on Dayton.  The drink special was a Hot Toddy, so Conor ordered a round.  The tamale guy entered right on time, as he so often does.  I got cheese tamales and Conor over-ordered – 5 bags/6 per bag.  Matt and I crushed our cheese and I considered taking Conor’s leftovers home for the next morning.



Matt’s wallet went missing, however, and that became our focus. We searched beneath the bar and I picked through tamale casings in the garbage can.  Then I remembered Conor has a peculiar habit of emptying his pockets of all valuables at bars.  A phone call confirmed Conor picked up Matt’s wallet on his way out, confusing it with his own.  We Ubered over to Conor’s to retrieve it and engage in some lighthearted jokes about his penchant for thievery.  All in all, great night.  Wonder what’s on tap for me this particular Friday.  It’s freezing in Chicago again. The Bulls are in Brooklyn & it’s Otto Porter’s debut.  Think I’ll crack a beer and watch.


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